Analyzing the Dudes

This evening, while procrastinating doing my work for another class, I read the essay posted on the Rhet206 blog about Single Young Men and their new extended adolescence. I milled over the essay's many ideas for a few minutes, but then forgot all about it until I found my boyfriend playing video games in the dorm lounge. Then all the doomsday theories from the essay surfaced again in my mind: men wanting to stay children forever, fear of commitment, the celebration of underachievement, etc.

These thoughts haunted me so much that I brought it up with my boyfriend, showed him the article, and discussed it for over an hour. He helped me see a lot of the flaws of the article, and I helped him understand a lot of its strong points. I now understand that at least the fact that it prompted me to think and want to discuss shows how good a piece it is, but I think it falls into the trap of many "trend" pieces in that it makes sweeping assumptions about large groups of people. For example, in the eyes of the writer, every 20-something year old male is unambitious and immature while every female of the same age is driven and ready for a serious relationship--a gross generalization.

My boyfriend took offense to the term "man-child" that the writer of this article often utilizes. This prompted a discussion of what adulthood and childhood actually mean, both in the past and today--a discussion that the article doesn't ever exactly address. Is childhood not having people depending on you, or is it still depending on someone else? Does adulthood mean having either a career or a family or both? Another critique that I have of this piece is that it seems to have nostalgia for "the good old days" of manhood and condemns the societal changes taking place. Men used to seek success and stability right out of college. Now they live with their homies and play XBox and mac on babes. She sees this as automatically a negative change, but what if the lack of pressure to be the typical breadwinner super-man is an incredible relief to most males? Is it not like the pressure for women to be thin and beautiful? The way I see it, men have historically been pushed forward where women were held back, so now that both forces are weak or non-existent, women bound forward in academics and the workplace while men linger in boyhood activities. Why aren't both changes equally good? We all celebrate the fact that more women than men are applying to college. Why not celebrate men taking it easy?

What I do like about this piece is the range of media it analyzes--TV to websites to movies--and the multiple levels on which it attacks this lifestyle. The critique of different men's magazines and websites, and the citing of specific material, was informative and compelling. More such tangible evidence of her point would be welcome. What I would have REALLY appreciated is more interviews, and maybe an in-depth profile, of real people that age of both sexes. That would have made her message more convincing. The way it reads now, she's a grumpy older woman kvetching about boys wasting the best goddamn years of their lives while serious girls sigh and wait for Mr. Right. Writers should always establish their credentials, because if they don't, readers might wonder, "Who is she to talk about that?" Who is one older, academic woman to pass judgment on a whole demographic of young men? This presumption distracts from the solid research and writing skills that she brings to the piece, and ultimately undermines her point.